It is unusual that I write this. I have doubted myself thousand times before penning it down. But maybe it is true that a girl and boy can never be friends, one does falter.
Today, when we picked up Anamika after her solo dance competition and binged up on burgers, especially me and Kunal, did we realize we were late by an hour! (BTW we bagged the second position for debate)
Before I could go for my third burger, he pushed me off the chair. “Sam! Look at the time. We’ll miss the bus. Hurry up. I have asked them to wait for us”
And then we ran like crazy. Crazy was real, because with Kunal and me in formal suits and Ana in her Bharatanatyam costume and respective footwear in our hands. But crazier was the driver of our bus. He was waiting for us, sure but in the middle of the freaking road! And Goddamn the traffic.
There, a bicycle cut through our running track and jarred whole momentum. I knew, I couldn’t give up on the chase because I had already lost on my burger. So I swung around, grabbed Kunal by his hand, in thought of propelling him faster.
But something made me stop right there, in the middle of the road. The timing was at its worst. I had held him before, in fact even closer. Why now did I feel the need to never let go of his hand, never ever? The feeling was unknown. There was longing to be with him and suddenly I was stuck with the fear of him not aware of this at all. When I turned back to him, he was glowering down on me and shouting something from his 6 ft towering head. His nose, shone against the sun. I had never noticed that his nose bent, pointing to the ground. Never in 16 years with this man had I noticed such intricacies. Love makes you do such stupid things!
Long story short, we missed the bus. The driver couldn’t wait any longer and we didn’t run enough, thanks to me. Kunal is pissed with me. Anamika is annoyed. We did catch an auto, but to pay hefty to get back home from outskirts of city, with free dust and dirt on face, is nobody’s idea of road trip.
What worries me, is me. How do I handle this situation? I cannot possibly tell Kunal. I cannot wreck our almost lifelong friendship. We have been together since alphabets came into our lives. We have together won hundreds of debates at school. And we are still together while in college. I cannot tell Ana too, because she will not keep anything to herself. And what if she too loves him. Oh no, I’m just complicating things myself.
This remains here, buried in your pages and never goes out. Our secret!